CHASE YOUR DREAMS…I meant go for them !
I recently read a small piece by Sri.Tejomaya Tarun and was really impressed by it….i had to share it ! This was in the context of long-term success and short-term success. Citing an incident from the Ramayana he refers to the ignoble act of Ravana kidnapping Sita and how valiantly Jatayu tried to stave him off .As we all know Ravana chopped off Jatayu’s wings and took Sita away.
The point here is that Ravana succeeded in his efforts at kidnapping Sita. And Jatayu failed in his efforts at trying to save Sita. So Jatayu was a failure and Ravana was successful. What does this show?
That failing in our attempts to do something good is far better than succeeding in doing an ignoble act. In the end it was Jatayu who became a role model and not Ravana.
The point here is that in any action there is an immediate objective and ultimate objective. Ravana’s immediate objective was to kidnap Sita and he succeeded in it. His ultimate objective was to marry Sita but he did not succeed in that. In the case of Jatayu his immediate objective was to save Sita in which he failed, but prevailed in his ultimate objective of saving Sita’s chastity.
Guess we need to look at success and victory in a deeper perspective and not superficially. More often than not small, temporary setbacks block our vision preventing us from looking further. As someone said a situation is never good or bad – it is how one reacts to it that makes it good or bad!
‘ EVERY WORTHWHILE ACCOMPLISHMENT, BIG OR LITTLE, HAS ITS STAGES OF DRUDGERY AND TRIUMPH; A BEGINNING, A STRUGGLE AND A VICTORY’ - ANONYMOUS
Many of us refuse to begin. Those that do leave half way through not willing to go through the struggle. How then can you savor victory? Go behind your dreams like one possessed and victory shall possess you!
Remember…' Mushrooms attain their full power in a night; oaks require decades…!'
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Hair Raising Experience…
Well…..I bet most of you [at least the older ones] would have gone through this traumatic experience at some point of time or the other… after all aren’t we all a little careless..! Is this what ‘ a close shave’ is all about?
Its true all of us go through a ‘bad patch’ and we all hate to talk about it… but its better if you do…because you could get a lot of tips on how to come out of a worrying situation. Of course the experience varies from person to person…but isn’t the basic issue the same… your HAIR!
Hehe…some of you are confused aren’t you? What do you think am talking about? Of course am talking about your crowning glory.
Sudden loss of hair could get you worried to the extremes, making you do a quick P.hd on the history of baldness in your ancestry. Not to mention how some people hit the panic button on the double, when they discover that first strand of grey hair! Needless to say all hell breaks loose…this is exactly what happened to a close friend of mine!
“ I am only in my forties and how could I start greying. I am going to look old”, she screeched one day. No amount of reasoning [that it was perfectly normal to start greying in your forties; it all depends on your genes; these days even those in their twenties were having grey hair] could convince her and she had already decided that she had become a useless old hag! Her husband even tried telling her that the little grey tinge at the temples, only made her look more beautiful and appealing! But to no avail!
Then started the endless rounds of treatment when her Head became a flame less cooking range where every possible edible item was powdered, mixed, beaten, churned and poured …and left to soak! Right from curd, egg, methi, besan, lime juice, tea, coconut milk, oil [of all kinds and colour] …not to mention Brandy! And the non- edible stuff like henna, hibiscus leaves, herbs and what have you!
She would appear like an alien every other day with some concoction or the other on her head and finally went in and got the inevitable done - dyed her hair black! She not only lost more hair going through all this but is now worrying about when she would have to go for her next sitting at the parlor! Because she knows that the black dye wouldn’t last forever!
I can understand people getting worried about falling hair …but not greying hair! Grow up people. Greying hair no way indicates that you have become an old useless hawk. In that case every other youngster in his/her twenties is good enough to be termed as old – because these days most of them start greying young! You can ONLY be as old as you think you are!
Well…..I bet most of you [at least the older ones] would have gone through this traumatic experience at some point of time or the other… after all aren’t we all a little careless..! Is this what ‘ a close shave’ is all about?
Its true all of us go through a ‘bad patch’ and we all hate to talk about it… but its better if you do…because you could get a lot of tips on how to come out of a worrying situation. Of course the experience varies from person to person…but isn’t the basic issue the same… your HAIR!
Hehe…some of you are confused aren’t you? What do you think am talking about? Of course am talking about your crowning glory.
Sudden loss of hair could get you worried to the extremes, making you do a quick P.hd on the history of baldness in your ancestry. Not to mention how some people hit the panic button on the double, when they discover that first strand of grey hair! Needless to say all hell breaks loose…this is exactly what happened to a close friend of mine!
“ I am only in my forties and how could I start greying. I am going to look old”, she screeched one day. No amount of reasoning [that it was perfectly normal to start greying in your forties; it all depends on your genes; these days even those in their twenties were having grey hair] could convince her and she had already decided that she had become a useless old hag! Her husband even tried telling her that the little grey tinge at the temples, only made her look more beautiful and appealing! But to no avail!
Then started the endless rounds of treatment when her Head became a flame less cooking range where every possible edible item was powdered, mixed, beaten, churned and poured …and left to soak! Right from curd, egg, methi, besan, lime juice, tea, coconut milk, oil [of all kinds and colour] …not to mention Brandy! And the non- edible stuff like henna, hibiscus leaves, herbs and what have you!
She would appear like an alien every other day with some concoction or the other on her head and finally went in and got the inevitable done - dyed her hair black! She not only lost more hair going through all this but is now worrying about when she would have to go for her next sitting at the parlor! Because she knows that the black dye wouldn’t last forever!
I can understand people getting worried about falling hair …but not greying hair! Grow up people. Greying hair no way indicates that you have become an old useless hawk. In that case every other youngster in his/her twenties is good enough to be termed as old – because these days most of them start greying young! You can ONLY be as old as you think you are!
Thursday, July 26, 2007
BURDEN OF EDUCATION
If there is anything that needs to be drastically reformed in our country, apart from our politicians, it is our educational system. True education is that which leads human souls to what is best and also brings out the best in them. Not the present system, that emphasizes more on bookish knowledge, compromising and stifling the growth of a child, as an individual in his own distinct way.
The experience (of education) once considered as “Ennobling and Enlightening” has become more of an ordeal now. This ordeal begins as early as the age of three, when parents go through the elaborate process of admission including interviews, both for the child and the parent. What purpose these interviews serve is something that remains an enigma to this day because the child is too young to be judged by his intelligence and it is only obvious that parents put forth their best on such occasions. So why this fracas?
If there is anything that needs to be drastically reformed in our country, apart from our politicians, it is our educational system. True education is that which leads human souls to what is best and also brings out the best in them. Not the present system, that emphasizes more on bookish knowledge, compromising and stifling the growth of a child, as an individual in his own distinct way.
The experience (of education) once considered as “Ennobling and Enlightening” has become more of an ordeal now. This ordeal begins as early as the age of three, when parents go through the elaborate process of admission including interviews, both for the child and the parent. What purpose these interviews serve is something that remains an enigma to this day because the child is too young to be judged by his intelligence and it is only obvious that parents put forth their best on such occasions. So why this fracas?
From here in starts the drilling of the child. Young and supple fingers are made to hold pencils double their size and practice pages of writing, the reasoning being ‘we have to catch them young’. Any child that refuses to go along with this regime is considered slow, making agitated parents to further pressurize the child in being part of the herd.
With slightly older children, the sight of those young shoulders being burdened by kilos of books is heart breaking. Apart from the tedious hours at school, the child has the Herculean task of tackling homework, not to mention the endless rounds of tuition classes. In yesteryears tuition classes were recommended for naughty kids who paid less attention in class or for those slow learners, needing the extra bit of coaching. Not anymore!
Tuition classes are the order of the day for all and sundry, not because the children are dull but more because the teaching is. Weekends are of course the only time the children get to indulge in sporting or cultural activities of their (is it really theirs?) choice. As a result we have a generation of drained out kids thrust with too much too early.
Education should be knowledge – based, being instrumental in stimulating and nurturing individual talents and liking. Exams these days are no more a yardstick to evaluate one’s intelligent quotient but the capacity to memorize and reproduce, giving no scope to imagination or understanding. Children are made to cram in totally uninteresting topics, which would serve them no purpose in practical life.
Education should be knowledge – based, being instrumental in stimulating and nurturing individual talents and liking. Exams these days are no more a yardstick to evaluate one’s intelligent quotient but the capacity to memorize and reproduce, giving no scope to imagination or understanding. Children are made to cram in totally uninteresting topics, which would serve them no purpose in practical life.
Parents and society are partly to be blamed for this depressing scenario. Society considers a person educated only if he or she completes a certain amount of education within a stipulated time, immaterial of his aptitude or suitability. Parents succumb to this pressure and feel ashamed if their child does not conform to these dictates. With the result that a child with exceptional talent in a different field is curbed totally to live up to societal expectations.
The formative years of every child is literally butchered due to these pre-conceived notions. The present system hardly leaves them any time to explore other avenues, allowing restlessness and boredom to creep in.
Formal education is no doubt, absolutely essential. But if the education a child gets does not help him progress in life, both personally and professionally, its purpose is totally defeated. We are thus left with a generation of frustrated and depressed youngsters, simply because they are unable to put their education to effective use.
Formal education is no doubt, absolutely essential. But if the education a child gets does not help him progress in life, both personally and professionally, its purpose is totally defeated. We are thus left with a generation of frustrated and depressed youngsters, simply because they are unable to put their education to effective use.
Revamping our education system should be given top priority by the Govt., simply because the children of today are the leaders of tomorrow who will be the driving force behind the country’s progress. [ Guess this has been said 'n ' number of times before....even i feel sick as i write! ] If they have a happy and healthy childhood their contribution would certainly be all the better because learning in one’s youth is like engraving on a stone.
Friday, July 6, 2007
IDIOT = COFFEE
I seem to make friends in the strangest of situations. This happened in the recent past during a visit to the airport. I don’t know the reason but I particularly love the time spent on railway stations or airports when you hang around waiting to receive someone. You have all the time to observe the people around you and the way each reacts to any given situation.
This was one of those days when you start early from the house to reach the airport on time, anticipating heavy traffic en route, and to your surprise are blessed with an easy uneventful drive. And the worse part was that the flight was delayed by a good one hour!
And while I was waiting I had a call from a dear good friend who had had a bad day and decided to pour it all out to me. In the course of our conversation, I tried to put some sense into making him realize how he had messed up his day by being stupid and hasty. In the process I kept repeating,"Subbu, don’t be an idiot!”
Perfectly aware of the surrounding I was in, I had kept my voice pretty low…or so I thought!
But it seemed to have been clearly audible to a gentleman standing in close proximity…
After I finished my conversation he smiled at me and I smiled at him…I thought that it was one of those smiles that says,"Yeah I know how bugging it is to wait outside like this!"
But I was taken aback when, out of the blue, he said," I thought I wasn’t one …but you seem to be pretty sure that I am one. Now am having my own doubts"…and gave me one big smile!
For a moment I wasn’t sure what he was talking about! He then held out his hand and said," Hi. I am Subbu. Nice meeting you…..except that you seem to think I am an idiot"
Hahahahaha…in a flash it all came to light! His sense of humor really rocked and I couldn’t help laughing. And to my utter embarrassment he happened to hold one of the top portfolios with one of the IT giants in Chennai.
We got talking and the gentleman was kind enough to offer to buy me coffee while we waited.
And I jokingly told him that perhaps I was the first person to be treated to a hot cup of coffee for having called someone an idiot.
Strange are the ways of life… and how you meet people …or how you make friends with them! I may never meet this person again in my life but there was something very pleasant about the incident, which still brings a smile to my face!
Moral of the story: Never call any one by their name and scold them in public!
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
A FEW TIPS ....FOR WEDDED BLISS !!!!!!!!!!!!! PART -2
Since the would - be grooms were up in arms, i need to pour my thoughts out to would - be brides too!!!
Rule.No.1: Never start of on the offensive or defensive. Start with a clear state of mind when you enter your in-laws' house! Never ever keep in mind bad experiences that other people have had in their lives! If you are positive you can generate a lot of love in the new family!
Rule.No.2: Don't expect your husband to abandon his family in your favour from the word go! Actually i would say never ever expect that of him...because if ever he does that to a family that has been his whole world this far, he could surely do that to you later too! Respect his love for his family and reciprocate if you can !
Rule.No.3: Don't spend sleepless nights if he is a mamma's boy! Give him time to change...you are sure to realise the wonderful bond when you become one your self!
Rule.No.4: I know this will not go down well with most brides but please put away all this talk of equality and women's lib! Agreed that you can do all that he does - go out take on the world/ earn in lakhs/ climb the corporate ladder - may be even better than him! But realise that there are certain other things that only you can do ...like bringing up children! Don't confuse this pleasant task with the word 'Sacrifice' and make life hell for you and all those around!
Rule.No.5: Learn to take an interest in his interests - be it sports/music/friends/what ever..... Or deem it your luck that he has other distractions! Believe me .....You can use that time to catch with your interests...enjoy your own space instead of someone breathing down your neck all the time!
Since the would - be grooms were up in arms, i need to pour my thoughts out to would - be brides too!!!
Rule.No.1: Never start of on the offensive or defensive. Start with a clear state of mind when you enter your in-laws' house! Never ever keep in mind bad experiences that other people have had in their lives! If you are positive you can generate a lot of love in the new family!
Rule.No.2: Don't expect your husband to abandon his family in your favour from the word go! Actually i would say never ever expect that of him...because if ever he does that to a family that has been his whole world this far, he could surely do that to you later too! Respect his love for his family and reciprocate if you can !
Rule.No.3: Don't spend sleepless nights if he is a mamma's boy! Give him time to change...you are sure to realise the wonderful bond when you become one your self!
Rule.No.4: I know this will not go down well with most brides but please put away all this talk of equality and women's lib! Agreed that you can do all that he does - go out take on the world/ earn in lakhs/ climb the corporate ladder - may be even better than him! But realise that there are certain other things that only you can do ...like bringing up children! Don't confuse this pleasant task with the word 'Sacrifice' and make life hell for you and all those around!
Rule.No.5: Learn to take an interest in his interests - be it sports/music/friends/what ever..... Or deem it your luck that he has other distractions! Believe me .....You can use that time to catch with your interests...enjoy your own space instead of someone breathing down your neck all the time!
A FEW TIPS ..FOR WEDDED BLISS!!!!
Hey...just sharing a few thoughts that came to mind!!!!
For Would-Be Grooms:
Rule.No.1 - Never compare your mamma's cooking with your wife's! There is no faster way to dig your own grave than that! Please understand that your mom's cooking has the backing of 20 odd years of experience....don't expect that from your wife whose hardly into the process! What if she were to compare your earning capacity with her dad's!!! So shshshhhhh....!!!
Rule.No.2 : Never go out of your way to please the lady with flowers, chocolates and gifts during your engagement period. If ever you do , please follow it up post-wedding too! When you could cover 20kms in 15 minutes when you are engaged just to spend some time with her, how dare you forget her birthday post - marriage, even after you are given the broadest of hints by her!
Remember expectations always double...ever heard of them being halved ???
Rule.No.3: Do compliment her every now and then, verbally or with gifts! What are those lovely Teddies and Archies gift cards for? Don't sit there like the Lord Of The Rings expecting to be waited upon! Of course she will do it but everyone likes to be appreciated and pampered!!!!
Rule.No.4: This is very important! Sulking or complaining about marriage being a big mistake is a strict NO -NO !! You got into it with your eyes wide open, brimming with enthusiasm !! No one ever pushed you into it! So why this drama now! All you deserve is a good spanking!!!
Rule.No.5: Be Brave and take your own decisions and stand up by them !!
Consult your parents for advice but realise that you are grown up enough to lead your life! Respect your partner's views at all times! Remember she has given up a lot more [ her family/ people/20 plus years of a different environment ] to make a life with you!!And she is always one person who has your welfare most at heart!!!
Hey...just sharing a few thoughts that came to mind!!!!
For Would-Be Grooms:
Rule.No.1 - Never compare your mamma's cooking with your wife's! There is no faster way to dig your own grave than that! Please understand that your mom's cooking has the backing of 20 odd years of experience....don't expect that from your wife whose hardly into the process! What if she were to compare your earning capacity with her dad's!!! So shshshhhhh....!!!
Rule.No.2 : Never go out of your way to please the lady with flowers, chocolates and gifts during your engagement period. If ever you do , please follow it up post-wedding too! When you could cover 20kms in 15 minutes when you are engaged just to spend some time with her, how dare you forget her birthday post - marriage, even after you are given the broadest of hints by her!
Remember expectations always double...ever heard of them being halved ???
Rule.No.3: Do compliment her every now and then, verbally or with gifts! What are those lovely Teddies and Archies gift cards for? Don't sit there like the Lord Of The Rings expecting to be waited upon! Of course she will do it but everyone likes to be appreciated and pampered!!!!
Rule.No.4: This is very important! Sulking or complaining about marriage being a big mistake is a strict NO -NO !! You got into it with your eyes wide open, brimming with enthusiasm !! No one ever pushed you into it! So why this drama now! All you deserve is a good spanking!!!
Rule.No.5: Be Brave and take your own decisions and stand up by them !!
Consult your parents for advice but realise that you are grown up enough to lead your life! Respect your partner's views at all times! Remember she has given up a lot more [ her family/ people/20 plus years of a different environment ] to make a life with you!!And she is always one person who has your welfare most at heart!!!
Neither here nor there… Please be somewhere!!!!!
People of my generation – who are forty plus now –are not a very enviable lot I would say! They find themselves in a dilemma more often than not! They can neither identify them selves with the old fashioned values of the previous gen nor be bold enough to follow the ultra mod trends of their next [kids] generation…and lo behold what have you! An identity crisis… being neither here nor there… a transitory generation I would say! And believe me its tough being there!
Lets start from basics! Food…Traditional cooking sounds tedious to cook and eat. We get bored of it very often! Fast foods like chats are great to try once in a way! Pizzas are passable! Any mention of pasta and macaroni as a full meal brings a silly apologetic smile to the face …err… can we have some thing else too along with it?
When it comes to clothes …Oh we claim to be mod and ‘in’ with the crowd….or so we brag!!! Yeah … because we love to try new trends ourselves…
…Comes a girl with a spaghetti top or a pair of shorts and we do a double….and say… now that’s a bit too skimpy! Phew …People please make up your mind!
You profess openly that love marriages are perfectly ok [of course you will never spell it out to your kids lest they take advantage of it…!!] but secretly send silent prayers hoping that they find a guy or gal from your own community! Come on …give yourself a break! They are not like you and me and have a mind of their own and know precisely what they want and go after it…. come what may!!
Its confusion galore in every aspect of life only because most lack the guts to pursue what they really want! Can’t blame them because they are sandwiched between past [Traditional] and the future [Modern] generations!
And land up being the punch bag for both!
But please remember there is no point in hiding behind that excuse…in the milee your life is being wasted! Why do you worry about what people have to say ? Just go for what you feel is right and for god’s sake don’t make the same mistake as the previous gen! Learn to let go…this applies for both you and your children…
Let go of unwanted traditions and values that are dead weight, be practical and learn to enjoy your life!
Let go off your children at some point and allow them the space that you probably never got…don’t cling on!
Life is too beautiful to be wasted....despite its lows!!!!
People of my generation – who are forty plus now –are not a very enviable lot I would say! They find themselves in a dilemma more often than not! They can neither identify them selves with the old fashioned values of the previous gen nor be bold enough to follow the ultra mod trends of their next [kids] generation…and lo behold what have you! An identity crisis… being neither here nor there… a transitory generation I would say! And believe me its tough being there!
Lets start from basics! Food…Traditional cooking sounds tedious to cook and eat. We get bored of it very often! Fast foods like chats are great to try once in a way! Pizzas are passable! Any mention of pasta and macaroni as a full meal brings a silly apologetic smile to the face …err… can we have some thing else too along with it?
When it comes to clothes …Oh we claim to be mod and ‘in’ with the crowd….or so we brag!!! Yeah … because we love to try new trends ourselves…
…Comes a girl with a spaghetti top or a pair of shorts and we do a double….and say… now that’s a bit too skimpy! Phew …People please make up your mind!
You profess openly that love marriages are perfectly ok [of course you will never spell it out to your kids lest they take advantage of it…!!] but secretly send silent prayers hoping that they find a guy or gal from your own community! Come on …give yourself a break! They are not like you and me and have a mind of their own and know precisely what they want and go after it…. come what may!!
Its confusion galore in every aspect of life only because most lack the guts to pursue what they really want! Can’t blame them because they are sandwiched between past [Traditional] and the future [Modern] generations!
And land up being the punch bag for both!
But please remember there is no point in hiding behind that excuse…in the milee your life is being wasted! Why do you worry about what people have to say ? Just go for what you feel is right and for god’s sake don’t make the same mistake as the previous gen! Learn to let go…this applies for both you and your children…
Let go of unwanted traditions and values that are dead weight, be practical and learn to enjoy your life!
Let go off your children at some point and allow them the space that you probably never got…don’t cling on!
Life is too beautiful to be wasted....despite its lows!!!!
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