IDIOT = COFFEE

I seem to make friends in the strangest of situations. This happened in the recent past during a visit to the airport. I don’t know the reason but I particularly love the time spent on railway stations or airports when you hang around waiting to receive someone. You have all the time to observe the people around you and the way each reacts to any given situation.

This was one of those days when you start early from the house to reach the airport on time, anticipating heavy traffic en route, and to your surprise are blessed with an easy uneventful drive. And the worse part was that the flight was delayed by a good one hour!

And while I was waiting I had a call from a dear good friend who had had a bad day and decided to pour it all out to me. In the course of our conversation, I tried to put some sense into making him realize how he had messed up his day by being stupid and hasty. In the process I kept repeating,"Subbu, don’t be an idiot!”

Perfectly aware of the surrounding I was in, I had kept my voice pretty low…or so I thought!

But it seemed to have been clearly audible to a gentleman standing in close proximity…

After I finished my conversation he smiled at me and I smiled at him…I thought that it was one of those smiles that says,"Yeah I know how bugging it is to wait outside like this!"

But I was taken aback when, out of the blue, he said," I thought I wasn’t one …but you seem to be pretty sure that I am one. Now am having my own doubts"…and gave me one big smile!

For a moment I wasn’t sure what he was talking about! He then held out his hand and said," Hi. I am Subbu. Nice meeting you…..except that you seem to think I am an idiot"

Hahahahaha…in a flash it all came to light! His sense of humor really rocked and I couldn’t help laughing. And to my utter embarrassment he happened to hold one of the top portfolios with one of the IT giants in Chennai.

We got talking and the gentleman was kind enough to offer to buy me coffee while we waited.
And I jokingly told him that perhaps I was the first person to be treated to a hot cup of coffee for having called someone an idiot.

Strange are the ways of life… and how you meet people …or how you make friends with them! I may never meet this person again in my life but there was something very pleasant about the incident, which still brings a smile to my face!

Moral of the story: Never call any one by their name and scold them in public!

A FEW TIPS ....FOR WEDDED BLISS !!!!!!!!!!!!! PART -2





Since the would - be grooms were up in arms, i need to pour my thoughts out to would - be brides too!!!





Rule.No.1: Never start of on the offensive or defensive. Start with a clear state of mind when you enter your in-laws' house! Never ever keep in mind bad experiences that other people have had in their lives! If you are positive you can generate a lot of love in the new family!



Rule.No.2: Don't expect your husband to abandon his family in your favour from the word go! Actually i would say never ever expect that of him...because if ever he does that to a family that has been his whole world this far, he could surely do that to you later too! Respect his love for his family and reciprocate if you can !



Rule.No.3: Don't spend sleepless nights if he is a mamma's boy! Give him time to change...you are sure to realise the wonderful bond when you become one your self!



Rule.No.4: I know this will not go down well with most brides but please put away all this talk of equality and women's lib! Agreed that you can do all that he does - go out take on the world/ earn in lakhs/ climb the corporate ladder - may be even better than him! But realise that there are certain other things that only you can do ...like bringing up children! Don't confuse this pleasant task with the word 'Sacrifice' and make life hell for you and all those around!

Rule.No.5: Learn to take an interest in his interests - be it sports/music/friends/what ever..... Or deem it your luck that he has other distractions! Believe me .....You can use that time to catch with your interests...enjoy your own space instead of someone breathing down your neck all the time!

A FEW TIPS ..FOR WEDDED BLISS!!!!

Hey...just sharing a few thoughts that came to mind!!!!

For Would-Be Grooms:

Rule.No.1 - Never compare your mamma's cooking with your wife's! There is no faster way to dig your own grave than that! Please understand that your mom's cooking has the backing of 20 odd years of experience....don't expect that from your wife whose hardly into the process! What if she were to compare your earning capacity with her dad's!!! So shshshhhhh....!!!

Rule.No.2 : Never go out of your way to please the lady with flowers, chocolates and gifts during your engagement period. If ever you do , please follow it up post-wedding too! When you could cover 20kms in 15 minutes when you are engaged just to spend some time with her, how dare you forget her birthday post - marriage, even after you are given the broadest of hints by her!
Remember expectations always double...ever heard of them being halved ???

Rule.No.3: Do compliment her every now and then, verbally or with gifts! What are those lovely Teddies and Archies gift cards for? Don't sit there like the Lord Of The Rings expecting to be waited upon! Of course she will do it but everyone likes to be appreciated and pampered!!!!

Rule.No.4: This is very important! Sulking or complaining about marriage being a big mistake is a strict NO -NO !! You got into it with your eyes wide open, brimming with enthusiasm !! No one ever pushed you into it! So why this drama now! All you deserve is a good spanking!!!

Rule.No.5: Be Brave and take your own decisions and stand up by them !!
Consult your parents for advice but realise that you are grown up enough to lead your life! Respect your partner's views at all times! Remember she has given up a lot more [ her family/ people/20 plus years of a different environment ] to make a life with you!!And she is always one person who has your welfare most at heart!!!

Neither here nor there… Please be somewhere!!!!!

People of my generation – who are forty plus now –are not a very enviable lot I would say! They find themselves in a dilemma more often than not! They can neither identify them selves with the old fashioned values of the previous gen nor be bold enough to follow the ultra mod trends of their next [kids] generation…and lo behold what have you! An identity crisis… being neither here nor there… a transitory generation I would say! And believe me its tough being there!

Lets start from basics! Food…Traditional cooking sounds tedious to cook and eat. We get bored of it very often! Fast foods like chats are great to try once in a way! Pizzas are passable! Any mention of pasta and macaroni as a full meal brings a silly apologetic smile to the face …err… can we have some thing else too along with it?

When it comes to clothes …Oh we claim to be mod and ‘in’ with the crowd….or so we brag!!! Yeah … because we love to try new trends ourselves…

…Comes a girl with a spaghetti top or a pair of shorts and we do a double….and say… now that’s a bit too skimpy! Phew …People please make up your mind!

You profess openly that love marriages are perfectly ok [of course you will never spell it out to your kids lest they take advantage of it…!!] but secretly send silent prayers hoping that they find a guy or gal from your own community! Come on …give yourself a break! They are not like you and me and have a mind of their own and know precisely what they want and go after it…. come what may!!

Its confusion galore in every aspect of life only because most lack the guts to pursue what they really want! Can’t blame them because they are sandwiched between past [Traditional] and the future [Modern] generations!


And land up being the punch bag for both!


But please remember there is no point in hiding behind that excuse…in the milee your life is being wasted! Why do you worry about what people have to say ? Just go for what you feel is right and for god’s sake don’t make the same mistake as the previous gen! Learn to let go…this applies for both you and your children…
Let go of unwanted traditions and values that are dead weight, be practical and learn to enjoy your life!
Let go off your children at some point and allow them the space that you probably never got…don’t cling on!

Life is too beautiful to be wasted....despite its lows!!!!

Am Angry............!!!!!!


A recent incident deeply disturbed me…an uncle of mine had passed away after fulfilling all his obligations and living a fulfilling life.As is customary all the elaborate rituals spread over 13 days for the onward journey of the soul, were over and we were just sitting around and chatting . This particular aunt was a very chirpy and practical person and had coped very well thus far with her loss. She casually remarked, ‘ I must from now on remember not to wear a bindi …have been so used to doing it all these years, I must not do anything stupid’.

A remark that shocked and hit me real hard! What was so far a part of her daily routine and attire, was suddenly termed out of bounds and considered a great crime.

What are we making our women folk go through under the garb of tradition and culture?

Imagine ever since the day she is born, a girl is used to wearing a bindi and flowers on her head. And what right do we have to tell her to discontinue this practise once her life partner is dead and gone. Am not here to argue as to what the men folk give up when their wives die…that’s a senseless discussion.

But its bad enough that you have to cope up with the loss of a dear one ...on top of it we interfere in their day to day life and impose restrictions on them which only further the grief by pointing out to the loss even more distinctly!

Gone are the days where we had the extremes of sati or women having to shave off their heads and wear a white Saree…. We claim to have reached the status of a super developed nation and where do our women stand?

And I partly blame the women too…they have dinned it into their own heads that they have to follow certain practices setting aside their own likes and dislikes. Given a choice I think most women would love to carry on their normal lives but are so scared of what the society will say ! Bull shit to such a society I would say …

If at all anything is given up in the memory of the departed soul, it should be something very personal to the surviving partner, done in a voluntary manner … not something done for the sake of some stupid custom.

But I guess a reformation can come around only if women put their minds to it… I tried it so hard with my own mom when my dad passed away but totally failed!

Passing Thoughtssssssssss..........



Disappointments are like Medicines...

You can't bear to have them even in small doses...

Want to gulp them all down in one go and

make them disappear and get back on track.

But it never happens that way...

medicines take their own sweet time to work.

Yeah...with a whole lot of side effects too!

No one loves them yet have to accept that

at some point the Doc prescribes them for you.



So it is in life.

The Doc called GOD up there prescribes them [ Disappointments]

for you once in a way.With all its side effects...



Medicines teach you to appreciate the value of Good Health.

Disappointments help you take stock of life and appreciate happiness.

Learn to take them as a process to rebuild your strength...

Make you a better person!

believe me ...it works!!!!

I AM BEAUTIFUL…SO ARE YOU!

Why do most of us always have the feeling that we are not perfect and that we need to
change? Is it because people around us are constantly pointing out to the negatives in us,
ignoring the positive points. Well if so, then I think something is drastically wrong with
them…and with you too for letting them do it!
I hate anyone comparing themselves with an‘other’ person and yearning to be like them.

You are special in your own way – realize that!

If you were like the other person with all his good qualities life would be so boring. So what if
you are not perfect? No one is!

So what if you are short tempered? So what if you have no aptitude for numbers? So what if

you are obsessed with only good food and are not good in general knowledge? So what if you
are not tech savvy?

Isn’t it that which makes life interesting for you and all those around you! Isn’t it that which
makes you so unique?

But don’t get me wrong…. If someone is overweight and obese and heading for trouble health wise, I don’t want them to turn around and say, ‘ Hey am special! That’s the way I am’.

There’s nothing special in hogging away to glory and being obese…you had better get that
bottom of yours moving and jog to the nearest park!

It’s your basic personality that we are talking about!

LOVE YOURSELF FOR WHAT YOU ARE!

LIKE YOURSELF FOR WHAT YOU ARE!

Because if you don’t like what you see, no body else will either!

You are special in your own way!

You are beautiful in your way!

Permit experiences to smoothen the rough edges in your character to make you a complete
person. But don’t chisel yourself away to try and make a new ‘you’…coz one fine day you
may not recognize yourself …more often then not it could leave you disfigured and
distressed.

And why should you try and impress anyone?

Let people accept you for what you are…if they don’t I don’t think you ever needed them!

I think I am a beautiful person…and I think ‘you’ who is reading this now is beautiful too…!

Cheers to a beautiful life!