A FEW TIPS ....FOR WEDDED BLISS !!!!!!!!!!!!! PART -2
Since the would - be grooms were up in arms, i need to pour my thoughts out to would - be brides too!!!
Rule.No.1: Never start of on the offensive or defensive. Start with a clear state of mind when you enter your in-laws' house! Never ever keep in mind bad experiences that other people have had in their lives! If you are positive you can generate a lot of love in the new family!
Rule.No.2: Don't expect your husband to abandon his family in your favour from the word go! Actually i would say never ever expect that of him...because if ever he does that to a family that has been his whole world this far, he could surely do that to you later too! Respect his love for his family and reciprocate if you can !
Rule.No.3: Don't spend sleepless nights if he is a mamma's boy! Give him time to change...you are sure to realise the wonderful bond when you become one your self!
Rule.No.4: I know this will not go down well with most brides but please put away all this talk of equality and women's lib! Agreed that you can do all that he does - go out take on the world/ earn in lakhs/ climb the corporate ladder - may be even better than him! But realise that there are certain other things that only you can do ...like bringing up children! Don't confuse this pleasant task with the word 'Sacrifice' and make life hell for you and all those around!
Rule.No.5: Learn to take an interest in his interests - be it sports/music/friends/what ever..... Or deem it your luck that he has other distractions! Believe me .....You can use that time to catch with your interests...enjoy your own space instead of someone breathing down your neck all the time!
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
A FEW TIPS ..FOR WEDDED BLISS!!!!
Hey...just sharing a few thoughts that came to mind!!!!
For Would-Be Grooms:
Rule.No.1 - Never compare your mamma's cooking with your wife's! There is no faster way to dig your own grave than that! Please understand that your mom's cooking has the backing of 20 odd years of experience....don't expect that from your wife whose hardly into the process! What if she were to compare your earning capacity with her dad's!!! So shshshhhhh....!!!
Rule.No.2 : Never go out of your way to please the lady with flowers, chocolates and gifts during your engagement period. If ever you do , please follow it up post-wedding too! When you could cover 20kms in 15 minutes when you are engaged just to spend some time with her, how dare you forget her birthday post - marriage, even after you are given the broadest of hints by her!
Remember expectations always double...ever heard of them being halved ???
Rule.No.3: Do compliment her every now and then, verbally or with gifts! What are those lovely Teddies and Archies gift cards for? Don't sit there like the Lord Of The Rings expecting to be waited upon! Of course she will do it but everyone likes to be appreciated and pampered!!!!
Rule.No.4: This is very important! Sulking or complaining about marriage being a big mistake is a strict NO -NO !! You got into it with your eyes wide open, brimming with enthusiasm !! No one ever pushed you into it! So why this drama now! All you deserve is a good spanking!!!
Rule.No.5: Be Brave and take your own decisions and stand up by them !!
Consult your parents for advice but realise that you are grown up enough to lead your life! Respect your partner's views at all times! Remember she has given up a lot more [ her family/ people/20 plus years of a different environment ] to make a life with you!!And she is always one person who has your welfare most at heart!!!
Hey...just sharing a few thoughts that came to mind!!!!
For Would-Be Grooms:
Rule.No.1 - Never compare your mamma's cooking with your wife's! There is no faster way to dig your own grave than that! Please understand that your mom's cooking has the backing of 20 odd years of experience....don't expect that from your wife whose hardly into the process! What if she were to compare your earning capacity with her dad's!!! So shshshhhhh....!!!
Rule.No.2 : Never go out of your way to please the lady with flowers, chocolates and gifts during your engagement period. If ever you do , please follow it up post-wedding too! When you could cover 20kms in 15 minutes when you are engaged just to spend some time with her, how dare you forget her birthday post - marriage, even after you are given the broadest of hints by her!
Remember expectations always double...ever heard of them being halved ???
Rule.No.3: Do compliment her every now and then, verbally or with gifts! What are those lovely Teddies and Archies gift cards for? Don't sit there like the Lord Of The Rings expecting to be waited upon! Of course she will do it but everyone likes to be appreciated and pampered!!!!
Rule.No.4: This is very important! Sulking or complaining about marriage being a big mistake is a strict NO -NO !! You got into it with your eyes wide open, brimming with enthusiasm !! No one ever pushed you into it! So why this drama now! All you deserve is a good spanking!!!
Rule.No.5: Be Brave and take your own decisions and stand up by them !!
Consult your parents for advice but realise that you are grown up enough to lead your life! Respect your partner's views at all times! Remember she has given up a lot more [ her family/ people/20 plus years of a different environment ] to make a life with you!!And she is always one person who has your welfare most at heart!!!
Neither here nor there… Please be somewhere!!!!!
People of my generation – who are forty plus now –are not a very enviable lot I would say! They find themselves in a dilemma more often than not! They can neither identify them selves with the old fashioned values of the previous gen nor be bold enough to follow the ultra mod trends of their next [kids] generation…and lo behold what have you! An identity crisis… being neither here nor there… a transitory generation I would say! And believe me its tough being there!
Lets start from basics! Food…Traditional cooking sounds tedious to cook and eat. We get bored of it very often! Fast foods like chats are great to try once in a way! Pizzas are passable! Any mention of pasta and macaroni as a full meal brings a silly apologetic smile to the face …err… can we have some thing else too along with it?
When it comes to clothes …Oh we claim to be mod and ‘in’ with the crowd….or so we brag!!! Yeah … because we love to try new trends ourselves…
…Comes a girl with a spaghetti top or a pair of shorts and we do a double….and say… now that’s a bit too skimpy! Phew …People please make up your mind!
You profess openly that love marriages are perfectly ok [of course you will never spell it out to your kids lest they take advantage of it…!!] but secretly send silent prayers hoping that they find a guy or gal from your own community! Come on …give yourself a break! They are not like you and me and have a mind of their own and know precisely what they want and go after it…. come what may!!
Its confusion galore in every aspect of life only because most lack the guts to pursue what they really want! Can’t blame them because they are sandwiched between past [Traditional] and the future [Modern] generations!
And land up being the punch bag for both!
But please remember there is no point in hiding behind that excuse…in the milee your life is being wasted! Why do you worry about what people have to say ? Just go for what you feel is right and for god’s sake don’t make the same mistake as the previous gen! Learn to let go…this applies for both you and your children…
Let go of unwanted traditions and values that are dead weight, be practical and learn to enjoy your life!
Let go off your children at some point and allow them the space that you probably never got…don’t cling on!
Life is too beautiful to be wasted....despite its lows!!!!
People of my generation – who are forty plus now –are not a very enviable lot I would say! They find themselves in a dilemma more often than not! They can neither identify them selves with the old fashioned values of the previous gen nor be bold enough to follow the ultra mod trends of their next [kids] generation…and lo behold what have you! An identity crisis… being neither here nor there… a transitory generation I would say! And believe me its tough being there!
Lets start from basics! Food…Traditional cooking sounds tedious to cook and eat. We get bored of it very often! Fast foods like chats are great to try once in a way! Pizzas are passable! Any mention of pasta and macaroni as a full meal brings a silly apologetic smile to the face …err… can we have some thing else too along with it?
When it comes to clothes …Oh we claim to be mod and ‘in’ with the crowd….or so we brag!!! Yeah … because we love to try new trends ourselves…
…Comes a girl with a spaghetti top or a pair of shorts and we do a double….and say… now that’s a bit too skimpy! Phew …People please make up your mind!
You profess openly that love marriages are perfectly ok [of course you will never spell it out to your kids lest they take advantage of it…!!] but secretly send silent prayers hoping that they find a guy or gal from your own community! Come on …give yourself a break! They are not like you and me and have a mind of their own and know precisely what they want and go after it…. come what may!!
Its confusion galore in every aspect of life only because most lack the guts to pursue what they really want! Can’t blame them because they are sandwiched between past [Traditional] and the future [Modern] generations!
And land up being the punch bag for both!
But please remember there is no point in hiding behind that excuse…in the milee your life is being wasted! Why do you worry about what people have to say ? Just go for what you feel is right and for god’s sake don’t make the same mistake as the previous gen! Learn to let go…this applies for both you and your children…
Let go of unwanted traditions and values that are dead weight, be practical and learn to enjoy your life!
Let go off your children at some point and allow them the space that you probably never got…don’t cling on!
Life is too beautiful to be wasted....despite its lows!!!!
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