Am Angry............!!!!!!


A recent incident deeply disturbed me…an uncle of mine had passed away after fulfilling all his obligations and living a fulfilling life.As is customary all the elaborate rituals spread over 13 days for the onward journey of the soul, were over and we were just sitting around and chatting . This particular aunt was a very chirpy and practical person and had coped very well thus far with her loss. She casually remarked, ‘ I must from now on remember not to wear a bindi …have been so used to doing it all these years, I must not do anything stupid’.

A remark that shocked and hit me real hard! What was so far a part of her daily routine and attire, was suddenly termed out of bounds and considered a great crime.

What are we making our women folk go through under the garb of tradition and culture?

Imagine ever since the day she is born, a girl is used to wearing a bindi and flowers on her head. And what right do we have to tell her to discontinue this practise once her life partner is dead and gone. Am not here to argue as to what the men folk give up when their wives die…that’s a senseless discussion.

But its bad enough that you have to cope up with the loss of a dear one ...on top of it we interfere in their day to day life and impose restrictions on them which only further the grief by pointing out to the loss even more distinctly!

Gone are the days where we had the extremes of sati or women having to shave off their heads and wear a white Saree…. We claim to have reached the status of a super developed nation and where do our women stand?

And I partly blame the women too…they have dinned it into their own heads that they have to follow certain practices setting aside their own likes and dislikes. Given a choice I think most women would love to carry on their normal lives but are so scared of what the society will say ! Bull shit to such a society I would say …

If at all anything is given up in the memory of the departed soul, it should be something very personal to the surviving partner, done in a voluntary manner … not something done for the sake of some stupid custom.

But I guess a reformation can come around only if women put their minds to it… I tried it so hard with my own mom when my dad passed away but totally failed!